I am depressed. I hate myself, I hate my parents, I hate school and nobody understands me EXCEPT for my friends! This is the common language and sentiments of many teenagers, particularly females. I see the emotional roller-coaster of life as a 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16 year old in my office daily. I sit back and I can empathize with every fiber of my being. However, I cannot necessarily verbalize this to the girl sitting in front of me with tears rolling down her cheeks, because quite frankly how would I really ever understand? I know most girls believe that us adults cannot relate, cannot identify and by all means, have no idea what it is like to be “them.” They are right, I have NO idea what it is like to be “them.” However, I know what it is like to be a teenage girl.

I know that my teen years were some of the most amazing, unforgettable, yet horrible all at the same time.

On self-esteem:

It’s so easy to love and care for other people, but it is much more difficult to love yourself. Love yourself, even when it is not easy. When you develop acne and have braces on and your nails are chipped and hair is frizzy and some guy ditched you and your best friend blew you off to hang out with someone else- love yourself. Believe it or not, your value is not tied to how tall you are, or how much you weigh, or whether some random guy or group thinks your face fits on a particular day.

On boys:

They will come, and believe me they will go. When you think that you have found your forever and your parents shrug it off, it is not because they cannot relate, it is because they HAVE FELT THAT WAY TOO….ONCE- many relationships ago. You will break hearts and your heart will be broken. Just remember- when you have to break a heart, do it with kindness and compassion. And when your heart is broken, reach out to your Mom, Dad, Aunt, or your “Person” who will allow you to talk and talk and not allow you to feel as though your feelings/relationship was minimal.

Never, ever forget where you came from. Your parents, and your family have their own special story. Your house, your clothes, your parent’s car may not look like everyone else’s but your story is unique. Your family experienced things that influenced the way you are experiencing this very moment. Learn about it. Ask questions about your family. Invest in knowing about your heritage.

Don’t squander talent or time:

A day on the couch with a book is not squandered time. A week on the couch is. Challenge yourself to meet new people and learn new things.

Don’t let anger or negatively rule your life:

You are probably angry or hurt about someone/something right now, at this very minute. Acknowledge it. Speak your mind, without insulting anyone else. Put it in the place where you store lessons learned and experiences; and move on. People will eventually provide you with enough clues to determine how you treat them and who you let stay and who you let go of.

Don’t take the easy way out of something. It may save you time and energy, but you won’t get the same experience out of whatever you are doing than you would if you did it the right way. Also, don’t make things harder than they need to be.

A cup of tea, warm blanket and a loyal pet are sometimes all you need to make you feel better. Believe it or not, on those nights when others are at a party and you are home, wishing you were there…take this time to be with yourself. Be your own best friend.

And…most of all…the way you are feeling right now will not last forever. Right now it is BIG, it is INTENSE, it is DEEP and most of all it is TEMPORARY. I know you will not listen to me, you will not want to hear my words but maybe, just maybe if you read this, some of it will provide you with comfort.